You Can Have My Incandescent Lightbulb When You Pull it Out of My Cold Dead Hand

I've started my stockpile. No, not just food. This week I bought an eight pack of good ol' GE light bulbs in addition to my regular supply. You see, since the USA is no longer a free country the government has passed a law requiring a switch to compact fluorescent bulbs by 2014. Now I think when government decides to no only crush an industry but also dictate consumer choices in this way, it has definitely gone too far. But let me back up....

When I was a young newlywed my hubby was stationed in Japan. When he brought me home to our apartment one of the first things that I noticed was the sickly flickerings of the fluorescent light in the living room when he hit the switch. It took a few minutes to reach its full capacity and cast its cold gleam across the room. It was then that I knew that this Japan we had been taught to admire (in the 70's and 80's), and told that they would overtake us and surpass us, did not have our standard of living. It was the first of many proofs of the greatness and innovation of the American people.

I have never liked fluorescent bulbs. They distract and irritate me. When I hear people, usually men, discussing the upcoming law deadline, they say women hate it because they don't look good in fluorescent light. Well that's pretty shallow and uninformed. There happen to be many people who are experience physical or mental distress under fluorescent bulbs. I'm one of those people. I am hoping if I go on the record maybe I can get some kind of a waiver.

Now they say the new light bulbs cycle so fast that the human eye can't detect it. Well, we all know if you can't see it then there's no way anything can harm you.

I have tried the compact fluorescent bulbs. Hubby bought two. One of them went in the kitchen, where we had about five other regular recessed lights. I couldn't stand it and took it out two days later. I told him it would have to be used somewhere else in the house where I wouldn't see it. The other one went in the garage, where I rarely go. but if I do go in there I have to wait now for it to 'light up'.

Our fluorescent bulbs did not last any longer than the old bulbs. They were burned out within 14 months. Now, I didn't have time to call a hazmat team like your supposed to, I just put them in the trash. But CFL bulbs have mercury in them. So if they do break, children and pregnant women are supposed to leave the room. Someone wearing protective clothing (like we all keep handy) is supposed to clean it up. Just hope it doesn't break over carpet....if it does, DO NOT Vacuum. This could release harmful mercury into the air. You must cut out the affected section of carpet and dispose of it. I'm not kidding. I don't think most of suburbia is ready for this type of responsibility. But I'm pretty sure those who made the law hate suburbia anyway. And love the three headed fish that mercury pollution leads too.

What about Christmas lights? Will they be banned too? Shoot, I didn't stock up on those yet. And don't tell me about LED lights. If you put those up at Christmas you seriously need to reassess your life. Ick. Maybe as a Halloween decoration, but they are worse than fluorescent. They seem to actually take away light. Gone will be the warm cozy glow of grandma's house on Christmas eve.

We live in a wonderful country full of science and invention. Do we really need to take steps backwards? CFL's and LED lights do NOT last longer, they aren't safer, they definitely aren't cheaper. So why force them on us? It's nothing but another sacrament to the altar of liberalism.

Well, some of us aren't buying your liberal crap.